Something we do

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When we see above us, dark night and bright stars. We cannot see which stars are alive which ones are dead, all we see are shining stars. They burnt out yet they still shine. 

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When you do something literally for a person, it makes a difference from giving or buying them something. Do not think that you do not have the monetary capabilities, you do not have the capabilities to help. Actually we do have those capabilities to help. We have our inner strength, inner believes, and all that matters is the sincerity.

When we do something for a person, we will leave a memories for them that are much valuable. When we do something for a person, it may not mean much for us, but it may mean a lot for that person. We do actually leave something behind in this world when we do something, something that money can’t buy, happiness.

 

18th May ’16, 11:58 PM

-Khairulsadekhz

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Revision week – Exam

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With revision week coming to an end, I would like to quote this saying by Dr Ivan Damjanov which I found in his Pathology Secrets book:

Always cover the main topics; ignore the trivia and unnecessary details. Be systematic! Be concise! And remember: You do not have to know everything; nobody knows everything.

Tasek Lama Menara View.jpgHis message correlates with my idea of just focusing the main things and the main concept. Some may have found that revision week has been hard, but it will not compare much to the upcoming hardwork in the near future ! And there will always some kind of rewards at the end. Goodluck to everyone ! There is no limit, fly high ..

1st May ’16; 2:14 PM

-khairulsadekhz

Failure? Hard work?

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Yes. It needs a hard work to be successful. It can be a success in your study or even in your career. Whatever it is, it needs hard work. 

If I were to ask myself, have I done it? Have you beat up yourself just to get the most out of what you want to achieve? Definitely I can say that I have not. I have not given the best or the most that I can do. Sometimes we like to do things in our comfort zone and I have been sitting at this comfort zone. But in order to achieve something, like for example if you want to score in your exam, you have to challenge yourself and exploit your capabilities, your potential. All are done through hard work.

Well it will be up to what do we want to achieve. If you want to get an achievement, then there is no doubt that you will definitely need a hard work. It is only the matter of questioning yourself whether you want to achieve something? Do you want to get to the top of the hill? Do you want to explore you capabilities? Then, hard work is what you need.

While you should know that, if you fail at some point of your life. It may have meant that you did not put all your efforts into it, you did not work hard enough. However you may wonder, you may have given the most that you have, but why do I still fail? Then it could be other things that you might have missed, for that matter you just have to reflect back. Nevertheless, do not think a failure as a failure in your life. Look at failure as a lesson, remember that we learn from failure. Look at failure as a measurement, you may be giving your 70% not 100%. Look at failure as a success, a success that you have attempted. Its a failure only if you did not try or try hard enough. If you slipped once, get the courage to get up !

Remember, do not be afraid of failure. Be ashamed if you have not work it out hard enough. You just have to excel yourself. I would always have this thought, “I don’t want to be hard on myself”. But no, lets change that and take up the challenge – work it as if its gonna be your last workout ever !

 

10:16 AM, 6th April ’16

-Khairulsadekhz

 

 

Burnout is inevitable

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Yes. In the near future there is no doubt at some point, you will reach the breaking point. I would write what have drawn me to medicine. Whenever I were to reach that point of burnout, refer to these statement again. There may be some other statement that I would write again in the near future. This will be your booster whenever in need.

For now remember that you believe in life-long learning and you are a learning enthusiast, especially in health related and Medicine ofcourse. Remember too that you want to pursue Medicine because it would bring so much more in life. There are so much in life that needs to be figured out. Not just the disease, but the life of people that revolves around it. Remember it will teach you more in life, let you be more selfless, more humane. That is all for now.

12:05 AM, 31st March ’16

-khairulsadekhz

Life we chose to live in?

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We all do have that “plan” no doubt. What do we want to become when we grow up. What kind of car we want to drive. What kind of house we want to live in. But sometimes we just do not get what we want.

Though we have plans ahead of our life, we did not get things to be the way we wanted it to be. In fact, remember this, there are greater plans for us ahead. Greater things that we could not imagine ourselves. In the end, our lives turns out to be better than we thought.

Hence, when things do not go the way how we wanted it to be. We shall be patience, we shall withstand the pressure, we shall endure, we shall ask ourselves, why it has to be this way? Remember that there will some happiness and rewards that awaits us.

While if we were now at the top of the hill, we shall look back at things that we may have suffered when we were at the bottom of the hills. We shall remind ourselves the hardship and the support we got from people surrounding you.

As of for now, remember always that there will be reasons for things that has or had happened. Not to overthink it, just live the life how things are being at the moment. Life is simple, we breath in and breath out.

11:53 PM, 25th March 2016

-khairulsadekhz

Patients

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Definitely it has shown so far that being a medical student is a challenge. But this journey itself has keep me motivated.

Last week, I had a one week clinical placement at AMU. Basically I need to complete my clinical skills, do some clerking of cases and most importantly I really want to spend my time to learn and learn. This time I have come to realised that sometimes you need some patience when it comes to talking to patients. They may be talking some points that may not be relevant to you, in the end you become impatience, even at some point ignoring the things they said to you.

BUT, who are we to blame them for it? They are the patients, they are in pain, they are sick, they are worried and they have a story to tell to you. Like I said, this journey itself has keep me motivated. These patients is one of the motivator in this journey. They are sick, they want to know what is wrong with them, they want their pain to be alleviated. They were worried, they need an ear and someone to listen to. They are telling stories, stories that I may not ever experienced in life. Actually there are much more than just taking history and make a diagnosis…

Like how Dr Sartaj from Renal Unit of RIPAS told us medics. Patients have the signs and symptoms. Patients have the diagnosis. Patients are the library. We learn from them. It really is wonderful to be in this journey. We keep on learning every day. We will never grow too old enough to stop to learn.

11:42 PM, 11th March ’16

-Khairulsadekhz

Ambition

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There will always that time when we were still in primary and our teacher would ask their students to write a composition about your ambition aka cita-cita saya.

Primary

I remembered that it was when I was still in primary 4 that my teacher went around the classroom, asking each of his students about their ambition when they grow up. And everyone would give their typical answer, some wanted to be a teacher, some wanted to be a policemen, firemen, an army and list goes on. When I was asked by my teacher what I want to be when I grow up, I was the only one said that I wanted to be a doctor. He paused for a while and told his students including me that a doctor is very much a noble career. I could see that he was proud that his students has their own ambition which provides motivation for each of us to study hard. As I myself, was very much driven since then to keep my ambition to be a doctor as my motivation.

Inspiration

What influences me to become a doctor? Some people have the background of doctors in the family and so. Some were inspired after watching the series House or any some sort of medical series. But I dont have those. Perhaps it was because that my own mother herself is suffering from renal failure or end stage renal disease (ESRD). These groups of patients will require some sort of therapy to replace the function of their failed kidney which is to produce urine basically. To cut the story short, renal patients has to go to dialysis centre 3 times a week to get their therapy or dialysis. That period of time has familiarized me with the medical field but not much. The most I can make out of it as a kid was “I want to be a doctor who help sick people”. That was it.

Then I ever told my mother and step-mother about my ambition when I was still a kid. My mother, without the background of any medical or health professions, did not encourage me to become a doctor. Whilst she told me that it take years for me to become a doctor and she wants me to just become a teacher instead as most of my relatives were teachers as well. Since then to be a teacher became an ambition to me as well and to think of it, teachers are very much important and noble as well. I would understand that my mother wanted me to become a teacher because she just wants to see my success and work later on in life. On the other hand, my step-mother very much happy to hear that I wanted to become a doctor, like any other mother would. Perhaps because she used to study to be a nurse before that she would understand.

The decision

Since then I kept my ambition to be a teacher as my first option and a doctor as my second option. Until I entered form six, we were suppose to have in mind what course we wanted to take before we enter the university. During that time we were asked to write our personal statement, why we wanted to study that course. With my ambition to be a doctor, I did not have any idea at all how to be a doctor and what course to take. Actually at that time, being a food and diet freak with my cooking hobby, I wanted to take on dietition and nutrition. However, I dont know why it was hard for me to write my personal statement on it and I realize that perhaps I was not into it that much. Then I switched onto Biology as it was one of my favourite subject. I like to study about the living things and I have some sort of philosophy that I wanted and believed that learning is a life-long process, and I wanted to have a career where I could do that. So then I thought to be a researcher was it. With my personal statement to take the course on Biology I submitted to several Unis. In fact one of the Unis being the University of Sheffield suggested that I take on Biomedical Science instead as my personal statement suggested that I liked more about health of the human beings.

Final choice

At this moment I still dont have any idea at all there was a course on Medicine. Not until when I went to HECAS exhibition where the students could ask around what sort of courses are offered at our local Unis. At first I asked about the Biology course at UBD how was it like. Then I found out to study Biology simply you study more about the animals and the plants. But I know at that moment that I was more interested in the study of human beings. Then kindly enough they suggested me to take on the course on Biomedical science or Medicine. Then from there I found out to become a doctor you have to take the course on Medicine. To become a doctor was pretty much something I thought I could not think that I could be one at that time, as I was only an average student. For what I know to take the Medicine course you have to have A**AA, that kind of result. To my surprise, UBD’s entry requirement to Medicine was much lower and within my capacity. I always thought I just want to become average and do average. But at that time I took on the risk and be brave and applied Medicine at my local unis as my first choice. Without high expectation, I went through the interview, I passed and alhamdulilah now I’m currently a third year medical student while being a part-time tuition teacher as to nurture my passion in teaching as well.

11:20 PM, 2nd March ’16

-Khairulsadekhz